26 Months Later

About 3 weeks ago Shannon received a call from a doctor at Children’s Hospital. She wanted to know if we would be interested in having Addyson participate in a case study. The study was designed around babies that had oxygen deprivation during birth, and that had received the cooling cap treatment. When we were going through Addyson’s birth, one of the toughest things for me to handle was the lack of information about the treatment. I would ask the doctors and nurses questions. “Have there been babies that have gone through this and have come out ok?” “Is there a chance she will be a healthy normal baby?” “Can you tell me about a baby that has gone through this and is ok?” I would always receive the same answer. “We just don’t know, you need to prepare yourself for the worst.” So we were very eager to participate in the case study. We wanted future parents to have hope, and to know that it is possible for babies to survive, and be “normal”.

Leading up to our appointment with the doctors, Shannon and I had a lot of the feelings and emotions rush back to us. It is amazing, it has been over 2 years, and we still cry about our Addyson and the miracle of her survival. Sometimes, I feel guilty. I think, she was only in the hospital 2 weeks. At the time it felt like 2 years. I feel bad because I think about all the parents that have their babies in Children’s Hospital for months!

The day arrived, and as we drove down to the hospital, I felt strange. I felt like I was in a dream. I could probably drive that route in my sleep. Twenty six months ago, I would have given anything to have little Addyson in the car seat behind me. Now she was, and healthy as can be. We pulled up to the parking garage. Suddenly all these memories are rushing back to me. I think I can remember where I parked every day for that week I was here. Now the tough part—I knew going into the hospital was going to be hard. I was holding Addyson’s hand and we walked in. It looked exactly the same. I looked around, suddenly it was October 2nd, 2007 again. I remember checking in at the front desk. I remember the lady asking me how to spell Addyson. I remember not remembering. Did Shannon want her name to have two d’s or just one? I remember my sister Caroline coming in and meeting us. I remember her telling me that I looked like a ghost, and very tired. I remember the sweatshirt I was wearing. I call that sweatshirt my lucky sweatshirt today. I was brought back to 2009 as we met the doctor and she led us up to the fourth floor, Shannon and I could not make eye contact. We were both tearing up, we were back, the place little Addyson spent her first night as a miracle baby.

The doctor led us into the same unit that Addyson spent her first week of her life. We were put in a little room, and waited for the case study to begin. We were hoping to see some of the same doctors and nurses that helped Addyson, but unfortunately we didn’t. We all sat around a little table and the test began. The test is called a Bayley’s Exam. It is a lot of hands on with toys, puzzles, books. The lady handed Addyson a puzzle with squares and triangles. No problem, she aced it. She looked at the lady as if to say, whats next? As the exam went on, she answered every question, knew every picture, knew every color. Even Shannon and I were amazed. I think we knew she was ‘normal’, but to see her react like she was, awesome! I could tell the doctor and the examiner were amazed as well. Addyson sat there for an hour and 15 minutes. The examiner told us that she had been doing this test for 20 years, and she was surprised by how well Addyson was doing. She was above a 26 month old child. Shannon and I know this is probably from watching and following her older sister, Ashlyn; still we were extremely happy to hear it. The next thing the doctors asked Addyson to do, was run to the door. She of course took off. They wanted her to kick a ball. No problem. The last question came. “Now you probably can’t do this yet, but can you try to jump for us?” Addyson has been jumping for months now. She lept and jumped 10 feet off the ground. Well, maybe a few inches. She even threw in a summersault. Ok, ok, enough of the proud parent.

We were told that Addyson was only the tenth baby to be tested that had gone through the cooling cap treatment. Addyson was a severe case when she was born. The doctor told us that there has been babies that have had mild cases, that are not close to doing as well as Addyson now. We will get all the results from the study in a few years, when they are done testing all the babies. I wanted to make sure that the information will get back to the parents that are suffering though this now. That is the whole reason I wanted to particatpate. I want future parents to have hope.

Before we left, we decided to eat in the cafeteria at the hospital. I had eaten there so many times during that week 26 months ago. I could remember every table I had eaten at, and every conversation I had with Shannon on the phone while sitting and eating. I was very emotional, again, Shannon and I could barely make eye contact. We knew we were the lucky ones, the blessed ones. We were surounded by sick children with tubes stuck everywhere in their bodies. I think that is why I wanted to eat one more time in that cafeteria. That is where I felt hopeless, it’s hard not to. Parents wheeling their sick kids in and out of the cafeteria. You look at their tiny faces, they didn’t choose this. My heart breaks for them and their parents. We were getting ready to leave and a little girl probably about 4 or 5 came riding in on her new bright pink bike. Her mommy was holding a contraption of tubes and wires and wheeling that next to her. She will probably never get to ride that bike outside or without being attached to some machine or tubes. As I was sitting there, I was reminded of the true meaning of the holiday spirt. It isn’t about gifts, or worrying about how clean the house is before company arrives. It is about family and health. Why do we get so caught up in the tiny things? Our life would be so much different now, if things hadn’t turned out.

Everyday we ask ourselves, why did God choose Addyson, why did God heal her? She must have a higher purpose in life. It will be fun to watch her as she grows up. She has an easy, gentle spirit, I think she is connected to the angels somehow. As we drove off from the hospital, I looked over to Shannon and said, “I think that place is surrounded by angels.” Shannon said, “how could it not be.”

We love you Addyson Faith….You are our legend.

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